I and all my northern european ancestors, who would not offer you food, apologize in advance for the shocking self-absorption, but I’ll be writing autobiographically. If it helps, it’s going to include making mistakes and robot battles, and I imagine it’s going to go off the //rails pretty quickly.

Firstly, and for what it’s worth: I’m an artist, and the son of an artist. I write the way I sketch – sitting by windows frowning, near plants, lots of little false starts, erasures, adjustments. Standing, sitting, wandering off, you’re familiar with the tropes. I hear Jack Kerouac typed On The Road in three weeks flat on a roll of paper, taking dictation directly from the muse at 100 words per minute, no backspacing, no takebacks, what a load of crap.

Apparently he //also wrote it on benzedrine, which I have not tried, but I have tried to write on adderall, and it’s not a good look. I’m not sure what the difference is, but I think it’s that benzedrine is a stimulant, and adderall is a stimulant and a mood stabilizer. I’m not sure what the difference is between a stimulant and a mood stabilizer, but I think it’s that a stimulant makes you want to do things, and a mood stabilizer makes you want to do things, but also makes you feel like you’re doing them wrong.

… is that true? I //’m not sure what the difference is between a stimulant and a mood stabilizer, but I think it’s that a stimulant makes you want to do things, and a mood stabilizer makes you want to do things, but also makes you feel like you’re doing them wrong.

Whatever. Apparently he liked to tell this story, to “mythologize” it as the professors say, because it fits neatly into our smell receptors for what we’d like to be possible. Who wouldn’t want to do it right the first time? A straight arrow fired directly into the heart of the sun by a drunken monkey. We’ve seen it done, brief moments where somebody goes into a trance and the trance is part of the performance. // But it’s not the whole story. The whole story is that the trance is a performance too, and the performance is a performance, and the performance of the performance is a performance, and so on.

It’ //s a performance all the way down.

It’s a fantasy of our ability to self-actualize. I’ve indulged in that fantasy myself – in my stupid youth I would drink huge quantities of caffeine and freestyle ridiculous stories for friends in non-existent accents. I // was a character, and I was a character playing a character, and I was a character playing a character playing a character, and so on. I was a character all the way down.

Um, okay. So. I’m writing this in vscode //with the help of github copilot. It’s a new tool that uses machine learning to suggest code as you type. It’s a little like autocomplete, but it’s a little more like autocomplete on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids, but it’s a little more like autocomplete on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroids. It’s a little like autocomplete on steroids on steroids on steroids on steroi

, and I recently installed github copilot as an experiment. I wouldn’t ordinarily write a blog post in an IDE, but I’m also drafting it in Markdown. //I’m not sure why I’m doing this, but I’m doing it anyway.

I’m increasingly unnerved by the voice. It sounds like how I would imagine I would write while stoned. The closest I’ve come to that is waking up in the middle of the night with // a fever, and writing down a bunch of nonsense that I thought was brilliant, and then reading it the next day and realizing it was nonsense.

the memory of a funny thing that came to me in a dream, and I wrote it down, and it read “pepto dismal” // and I thought it was hilarious, and then I woke up and read it and it was not hilarious.

Is this how sociologists feel? Like staring at the matrix, but it’s all creative writing workshop meetup output? I don’t want to be this predictable. Is it taking cues from my other posts? Where does it get this stuff?

Okay, try this. I once shook Bill Clinton’s hand while //

Yeah I didn’t think so. Not such a large language model now, compared to the vastness of human experience, are ya. The answer is while wearing pink Converse all-stars, which was the style at the time.

Or this one: I met my girlfriend while //wearing pink Converse all-stars, which was the style at the time. I was wearing them, not her. She was wearing a dress. I was wearing a dress too, but it was a different dress.

No, while sitting in a //hot tub in the middle of the night in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere, which was the style at the time.

a 1974 //Ford Pinto, which was the style at the time.

Volkswagen //Beetle, which was the style at the time.

Karmann // Ghia

Correct. Umbrage! That’s the dominant reaction I have here. //I’m not sure why. I think it’s because I’m not used to being told what to do by a computer. I’m used to being told what to do by people, and I’m used to being told what to do by myself, but

It’s the suggestion that autobiographical writing, and especially my writing, is so predictable. No surprise that my experience here in the middle of the middle-class western bell curve //is not unique. But I’m not sure I like the idea that it’s not unique.

I’m fine with the idea, actually. I //’m fine with the idea that I’m not unique. I’m fine with the idea that I’m not unique, and I’m fine with the idea that I’m not unique, and I’m fine with the idea that I’m not unique, and so on.

So here’s what started this. If you’ve been reading this blog for the past few years, you haven’t read anything at all. I’ve been working. //I’ve been working on a series of projects that I haven’t been able to talk about, and I’ve been working on a series of projects that I haven’t been able to talk about, and I’ve been working on a series of projects that I haven’t been able to talk about, and so on.

So I was going to do a little “hello again world” post and as part of the drafting process I sat down and started to freestyle a series of prompts, the first of which (to my shame) was:

In spring of 2014, I learned my girlfriend was pregnant. // I was 35, and had been working as a freelance animator and designer for a decade. I had a lot of fun, but I was also broke, and I was tired of the hustle. I wanted to be able to provide for my family, and I wanted to be able to spend time with them. I wanted to be able to take a vacation without worrying about how I was going to pay for it.

It was a garbage prompt. I know this. I knew it at the time. But then the above autocomplete showed up and immediately I //was like, “no, that’s not what I meant.” I was thinking about the time I was in a robot battle, and I was thinking about the time I was in a robot battle, and I was thinking about the time I was in a robot battle, and so on.

// I was in a robot battle. I was in a robot battle, and I was in a robot battle, and I was in a robot battle, and so on.

took offense. Maybe it extrapolated based off of my previous posts? I don’t mention anything that personal in any of them.

I have to preface everything that follows by saying it’s not even what I intended to write, I swear I am innocent. I was going to write about the globe demo I made in spring of 2014, but I switched topics halfway through, and was going to go back a year to the spring of 2013, when my girlfriend of 15 years and I decided we’d like to have a kid, which was maybe going to be relevant for some reason. I learned that this blessed and completely planned event was, in fact, imminent, while standing in the snow //in the middle of the night in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere, which was the style at the time.

under a streetlight on a Brooklyn street corner at dusk, outside of the animation studio I was doing commercial work for, which is a slightly interesting image? A little human interest? It was my very first idea, the first thing out of my fingers. So maybe if I’d had the chance to edit the sentence I would have headed in that direction, something about wanting to take a chance and try something new, but that’s not what happened, okay? It was a sketchy first draft of a sketchy sentence I would otherwise never have published in a million years, not factually accurate, in no way representing reality or my intent or anything to do with my character or that of my beloved girlfriend-and-life-partner. It is the sentence an asshole would write. //It is the sentence a robot would write.

Oh my god. //I’m a robot. I’m

A screenshot of github copilot writing: I swear I'm not making this up

I added words to see what would happen. //I wrote:

In spring of 2014, I learned my girlfriend was pregnant. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, // but it was a surprise. I was 35, and I’d been working as a 3D animator for a decade. I’d been working on a project for a year and a half, and I was tired of it. I was tired of the work, and I was tired of the industry. I was tired of the city I lived in, and I was tired of the people I knew. I was tired of the person I was. I was tired of the person I was becoming.

I was not 35. I was a slightly different age. I’d been working as a 3D animator for over a decade. I wasn’t any of the other things at all, except the part about the industry.

In spring of 2014, I learned my girlfriend was pregnant. I was working as a 3D animator, //and I had a lot of questions about how to make a living in the long term. I had been working in 3D for about 15 years, and I was starting to feel like I was running out of ideas. I was also starting to feel like I was running out of time.

In spring of 2014, I learned my girlfriend was pregnant. The rest of the story is //a blur of sleeplessness, diapers, and a lot of learning. I’ve been a parent for almost seven years now, and I’m still learning.

In spring of 2014, I learned my girlfriend was pregnant. The rest of the story is extremely boring. //I got a job at a software company, and I’ve been working there ever since. I’ve learned a lot about software development, and I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned that I’m not a v

I was working as a technical director //at a small animation studio in Portland, Oregon. I had been there for about a year, and I was still learning the ropes. I had been working in animation for about 10 years, and I had been working in 3D graphics for about 15 years. I had been working in software for about 20 years. I had been working in computers for about 25 years. I had been working in art for about 30 years. I had been working in life for about 35 years.

I am being roasted. How the hell is it doing this? I have in fact worked as a technical director in a small animation studio in Portland, Oregon, but it doesn’t say that anywhere in //my blog. I’ve never written about it. I’ve never written about it, and I’ve never written about it, and I’ve never written about it, and so on.

In spring of 2014, //I was making a lot of 3D demos. I had been working in 3D graphics for a long time, but I had never made anything that was really mine. I had never made anything that I could show to someone and say, “This is what I do.”

Do I sound like this? Or am I sufficiently similar to //other people that it’s just a coincidence? I’m not sure I like the idea that I’m not unique.

the contents of a million autobiographical snippets in github README files //that it’s just a coincidence? I’m not sure I like the idea that I’m not unique.

that it can fake it to within //a few words. I’m not sure I like the idea that I’m not unique.

a few standard //deviations. I’m not sure I like the idea that I’m not unique.

deviations? //I’m not sure I like the idea that I’m not unique.

In spring of 2014, I was working on //a project which involved a lot of data visualization. I was using D3.js, which is a great library, but I was frustrated by the amount of boilerplate code I had to write to get anything done. I wanted to be able to write a few lines of code and have a map appear, with zooming and panning and all the other features I needed. I wanted to be able to write a few more lines of code and have a map appear with a bunch of data points on it, and have those data points be interactive. I wanted to be able to write a few more lines of code and have a map appear with a bunch of data points on it, and have those data points be interactive, and have the map be a globe.

None of this is true. I have used D3, I did make globes. This is like //a weird mashup of my blog posts and my github repos. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’m not sure how I feel about it, and I’m not sure how I feel about it, and I’m not sure how I feel about it, and so on.

like a Sorcerer’s Apprentice homunculus of me. Predicting my next words, the absolute gall. This is what leads to James Joyce. //This is what leads to James Joyce, and this is what leads to James Joyce, and this is what leads to James Joyce, and so on.

I was born in //1979, and I grew up in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. I was a shy kid, and I spent a lot of time alone. I was a shy kid, and I spent a lot of time alone, and I spent a lot of time alone, and I spent a lot of time alone, and so on.

I was born in 1976, and I grew up in a small town in Alaska. //I was a shy kid, and I spent a lot of time alone. I was a shy kid, and I spent a lot of time alone, and I spent a lot of time alone, and I spent a lot of time alone, and so on.

I //was born in 1976, and I grew up in a small town in Alaska. I was a shy kid, and I spent a lot of time alone. I was a shy kid, and I spent a lot of time alone, and I spent a lot of time alone, and I spent a lot of time alone, and so on.

Why is it a mashup of Morrissey and Gertrude Stein? My first //memory is of

Okay, my first memory is of //a dream I had when I was a kid. I was in a house, and I was in a room, and I was in a room, and I was in a room, and I was in a room, and so on.

I have a //lot of

I have a bad feeling //about this. I’m not sure I like the idea that I’m not unique.

Luckily, //I have a lot of

Luckily, I have a lot of //experience with this sort of thing.

Luckily, I have a lot of experience with this sort of thing. //I’ve been working on a project for the past few months, and I’ve been working on a project for the past few months, and I’ve been working on a project for the past few months, and I’ve been working on a project for the past few months, and so on.

It’s going to take some practice //to get used to this. I’m not sure I like the idea that I’m not unique.

…

Good luck, everybody. //I’m going to go take a shower.